THE Ferriscan

I promised you an entry about this weekend so here it is:

Thursday:

We left KC around noon and made it to Minneapolis in seven hours. I drove the last six of the seven hours. We took my car this time instead of my mom's van so that made driving much more enjoyable for me. I don't like driving tanks. I much prefer my tiny two-door. My mom napped and read most of the time while I listened to music. Anyone who has made the drive from KC to Minneapolis knows that there is nothing more exciting to say about the drive.

We got to the hotel around 7 and rushed to the room so that my mom could catch Survivor. After that, we grabbed some dinner and that's about it. Pretty uneventful.

It's now past midnight and I have to be up in less than six hours. I should be asleep. I am not.

I can't help but think about tomorrow. Tomorrow morning we head to the hospital for me to get the ferriscan done. Yes, THE ferriscan. The ferriscan that will determine whether I can start transplant now. If the results are good, we pack up and get ready for transplant. If the results are bad, I go back home and wait longer. Either way, transplant is unavoidable. Now it's just a matter of 'how soon can I get this hell-fest over with?'. I'm done waiting. For some reason I have a bad feeling about this trip. Maybe it's because it seems like the past few months have been one disappointment after another. I would like to think positively but I don't want to get my hopes up again. What if my iron levels are still too high? How much longer can I live like this? How much longer can I feel like this? Am I ever going to be healthy again? Does ANYBODY have the answers to these questions? I sure don't.

I should try to sleep. Tomorrow isn't going to be any easier than today.

Friday:

So I ended up getting two hours of sleep last night. Not fun. We made it to the hospital and I checked in for my ferriscan at 8 am. The ferriscan was pretty easy, it basically just involved me laying in an MRI machine for half an hour while they took pictures of my liver. The pictures have now been sent off to be looked. We should have results in about a week or so. Waiting for results will be the hard part. To say I'm anxious would be an understatement.

Afterwards we took a tour of the BMT (bone marrow transplant) unit. We took a tour back in August but I couldn't remember what anything looked like. The unit is only for bone marrow transplant patients and it consists of 20 rooms. There's a nurse's station in the middle of the unit and the rooms surround the station so that it ends up being one big loop. There are big rooms and small rooms, I've heard that it's better to be in a smaller room because that means you're doing well. If they move you to a big room, it means you need more attention/care. The small rooms (where I hope to spend the entirety of my hospital stay) are extremely small. There's a private bathroom with a shower, a hospital bed, a roll-away bed for one parent, a tv, a wii or ps3, a window and a computer in each room. The doors to the rooms have to be closed at all times and you can't have more than three people in your room at a time. There's also a parent room inside the unit where parents can go to take a break. That room has a living area and a kitchen. The place seems pretty nice but it was hard not to notice how quiet it was. The hall/loop was empty except for nurses. A typical hospital stay for a BMT patient is 6-8 weeks. After that, I get discharged and go to stay in the Ronald McDonald House for the remainder of the 100 days. More details on that later on IF I end up starting transplant soon.

After the hospital we headed to the Mall of America for some quick shopping and lunch. We originally planned to spend the afternoon shopping but I was exhausted from lack of sleep so we ended up leaving town early. We had also planned to only drive part of the way today and then spend the night at a hotel and finish the drive on Saturday. Once we were on the road I realized I just wanted to go home as soon as possible so we drove straight home. I wanted to drive but my mom made me take a nap first because she didn't trust me to drive after only two hours of sleep. I don't blame her. We just got home a little bit ago and I'm exhausted so I'm getting ready to head to bed. Tomorrow is a new day. It's time to take a break from the stress/anxiety and start getting excited for my NYC trip! More details on that soon.

**Reason of the Day: Today I saw multiple wind turbines. Alternative energy is always a reason to smile (RTS). --you probably won't understand this one unless you're a debater. or a nerd. or both.