This Too Shall Pass

Lovely readers,

I would like to start off by thanking everyone who has been supportive since my return from Minneapolis. Most importantly, my family for helping me to transition back into my old life and allowing me to sulk and take time to process the situation. Next, to my friends for never pressuring me to do more than I can handle. And for reminding me what it feels like to do normal things. They keep me sane and remind me that there is more to my life than being sick. Next, to my classmates. I cannot even begin to express how indebted I feel to all of my classmates for sending gifts, cards and prayers my way. Special thanks to my english class and Ms. Bonjour for taking up a collection to get me the BEST box of gifts ever. Before I left town, I made a list of things I thought would make my time in the hospital easier and they literally got almost every single item on the list- and more. Without even seeing the list. Their thoughtfulness is greatly appreciated.

I guess now it's time for an update:

I know I have not blogged in awhile but I needed a chance to get my thoughts together and decide how I wanted to proceed with the next few months. I have decided to continue blogging. My story is not over, in fact, my story has probably just become even more important to tell. I will not stop writing. I have also started my iron chelation. I'm currently infusing 24/7. The pump is actually pretty simple and fairly easy to hide for those who don't know it's there. I have spent the past two weeks really thinking things over and coming to grips with the reality of things. I know that I will be able to find strength in the people that surround me and I know that I will find strength in myself. I also know that other people will find strength in my story and I hope that my voice can be heard.

I have managed to get out of the house a few times since I have been home and even managed to attend a Gnarley Zombies concert. I did not anticipate how hard it would be to get back into my old life, especially knowing that I will have to leave it all again at any moment. I'm living in limbo and I don't like it. It makes it very hard to form new friendships or relationships and it also makes it very hard to plan. I've always been a planner, "living in the moment" is NOT my thing. I consider myself a free spirit but I also value every moment I have on this earth. I don't believe in wasting precious time. Knowing that I can't plan is going to really bother me. However, I think it might be good for me to take a break. Since I was in elementary school it was decided that I would become a writer and move to NYC. I've worked hard, despite all the obstacles put in my way, to achieve that goal. I've pushed myself, usually farther than it was healthy, in order to keep up and surpass others. Now that I know my life has literally been put on hold, there isn't much of a reason to push myself. I think I might take some time for myself and relax and maybe start writing a book or memoir or something of that nature. But lets not get ahead of ourselves, right now i'm thankful if I can manage to get out of bed, eat two good meals and shower every day. But, as they say, this too shall pass. And when it does, I know that I'll be stronger than ever.

Well, that's enough for tonight. Before ending, I would like to share this quote with everyone from Eleanor Roosevelt. Oddly enough, Eleanor has been a hero of mine since the 5th grade when I did a project on her. Come to find out, she died of Aplastic Anemia, the same disease that I'm now fighting. Crazy world. Eleanor represent an independent woman who took it upon herself to make a difference in the world. She surpassed everyones expectations and redefined what it meant to be a wife and a woman. She was a beautiful writer, wonderful speaker and amazing philanthropist. All qualities I wish to have some day. She says, "You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must always do the thing you think you cannot do."

**Reason of the day: Eleanor Roosevelt and her inspirational words are always a reason to smile (RTS)**